Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hyper-Drive Failure

The cause of the hyper-drive failure that was experienced @ 20090217809 has been discovered!
As seen in the video above thousands of earthlings are seen running from a giant fireball! All of these earth dwellers seem to be affected by the glowing, mind altering radiation emitting from the fireball (seen on the Geiger counter tracking video above). The next day these earthers got into their vehicles and preceded to travel astronomically slow, which caused cosmic congestion resulting in hyper-drive failure. It seems the mind altering radiation also caused symptoms which caused the earthables to use their communicators to contact former and current associates for no apparent reason. This of course further added to the hyper-drive failure.
I was momentarily affected by this phenomenon, but have recovered completely.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Got Snot?

Ever had the terrible feeling when you blow your nose and your ears pop?

SPACE PSYCHOS is here to help!!!

== Steps ==
  1. '''Stick a cotton swab up your nose.''' This may sound very gross, but you must perform this step to see if you have a really bad mucus blockage. Note that you must not stick it up too far up the nose!
  2. '''Pull out the cotton swab and examine it.''' What color is it? Note these down on some paper, throw the cotton swab away. Keep the paper!

'''Think of these questions:'''

  1. Do your ears hurt when you blow?
  2. Have you been blowing your nose excessively?
  3. While you were blowing, is the amount of mucus little or none?
  4. What is the square root of 150?
  5. Why did I write down my snot color on a piece paper?

===What to Do Next===

  1. Stop blowing, or at least blowing right now, or until I tell you to start again.
  2. Take a decongestant as often as needed, or as long as long as you need to.
  3. Consult your doctor and tell them of your results and symptoms. Show them the piece of paper with the snot on it!

== Tips ==

*Medications containing pseudoephedrine are no longer available; since they can be used in the process of creating methamphetamine, a pharmacist must track your purchase according to law. If they will not sell you your medicine, get a note from a doctor. Everybody likes getting a note from a doctor!


*Don't get the cotton swab stuck up your nose. That will just make it worse. Of course if you do get it stuck, put another one in the other nostril and pretend you did it on purpose!